Showing posts with label Comedy Blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Comedy Blogging. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

5 Ways to Set Expectations in Online Marketing

I was camping this past weekend and my sister brought with her a CD of this hilarious comedian, John Pinette. If you haven't heard of him, you will soon enough. Here's a clip of him describing how he hates lines of any kind.



Why is this so funny? I think we all hate lines. We all hate waiting. We want what we want and we want it now! The reality is that we're going to have to wait. If this means waiting for a Starbucks latte that you ordered or for that technical assistant from your local cable/Internet company we all know that waiting is a part of life. If that's the case, lets make sure that we know what we're getting ourselves into ahead of time and if we do need to wait, provide some added value.

Setting Expectations the Right Way in Online Marketing

1. If you want people to register or sign up on your site, tell them exactly what they're going to get. This means using images to provide context. For example, if it's a webinar that people are signing up for, provide a pic of the person who is going to speak. If it's a contest for an IPhone, show an IPhone.

2. Make the registration process as easy as possible. Only ask for the information that you need and let the visitor know that they will only need to register once (it's a best practice to configure your site this way if possible). If you're looking to setup an e-commerce site, look at the heavy weights such as Amazon and EBay.

3. Make sure the information is relevant. Don't blast your entire database and expect magic to happen in terms of conversion. Use relevant information such as a person's title or the pages that they have previously clicked on to determine the messaging.

4. Allow your customers/prospects to set their own expectations for marketing messages. They should control the type of email, the frequency and the content. If you don't give them this control (and you should), make sure they know what type of marketing messages they can expect to receive and how often. If you don't, welcome to unsubscribeville - population, your company.

5. Use appropriate messaging on your site and email and provide something in the meantime if you can't deliver the goods right away. I can see why John Pinette is losing his brains at McDonald's. I was there yesterday at a roadside service center (OK, I admit I have the odd Big Mac attack) and I was waiting for what it felt like was forever. Whether it's unacceptable or acceptable the only thing that kept me sane was my Blackberry. I'm not asking for Ronald and the gang to sing show tunes while I wait but it would be nice if:
a. I had a sign that told me that the wait would be less then 5 minutes (this would be updated automatically like a scoreboard)
b. If there was a TV or something so I could watch a sporting event while I wait. How about a contest of some sort like "Where's Waldo?". Get creative!

I don't think I'm asking for much here. Do you? I'm sure John doesn't.

When it comes to email and your website, tell people when they should receive a confirmation email regrading a webinar that they signed up for or for a recent purchase. Tell them when they can expect their new computer to be shipped to them. Provide easy access to FAQs and contact information and have someone on the other end of the line. If I send a customer request to Bell, I want to receive an email that tells me how long I will be waiting until I hear from someone.

Here's a bonus one:

6. Go Beyond Expectations. Have you ever been at Starbucks sipping a coffee and they offered you a free sample of a cookie or beverage? Typically I've had way too much caffeine at that point and another coffee may turn me into a jabbering idiot but the offer is appreciated. Why? Because the interaction is personal and shows that you, the customer is rewarded for being a customer and that Starbucks cares about its customers (if only they could fix their line ups!). I'm not saying that McDonald's should go around giving out free hamburgers to kids who are playing in the play area but there are many opportunities that companies miss out on.

Here's an example: Company X has been a loyal customer for the past 5 years. Treat them like they are private members to your exclusive club and offer additional incentives such as a free upgrade - go beyond their expectations and they will remain loyal to you.

Let's get even simpler: I just signed up to receive your newsletter. They are sent every three weeks. Here's an idea: Send me the most recent one right away! Here's another one: I just purchased a computer or expensive software from you. Why not send an email with links to tutorials, social networks etc... In this way, you can keep the enthusiasm going that you had when you purchased the product/service and relieve some of the cognitive dissonance (wasn't psych 101 great?) that you may have after the purchase or after you just provided your contact information.

Getting to the Front of the Line

Web visitors need to understand how much time they need to invest in an activity and how it will benefit them. Those that are loyal deserve some extra TLC so giev it to them. Think about the tips above and how your company can bring potential customers and prospects to the front of your line, and how to get them there as fast as possible.

Chad H.

PS - any examples that you have on setting expectations would be greatly appreciated.

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Monday, October 02, 2006

Top 10 List on the Positives of Corporate Blogging:

In a recent article, I read that executives still aren't getting the concept of corporate blogging which I think is BS. One of the questions that I keep hearing is: How do I drive more traffic to my website and keep them there? One way is to give out free IPods but this doesn't work anymore becuase everyone already and their dog has an IPod (PS - a future bloggy post will depict the sorry state of our nations hearing). Ok - so, how do you get more people to your site? Blogs of course silly rabbit! Why blogs? Good question.

Here is my top 10 list on the fly of some of the positives of corporate blogging:

  1. It gives a CEO something to do when they're stuck in an airport
  2. It gives your customers' and prospects' CEOs something to read when they're stuck in an airport. If they get really inspired (which they may), you may even see a few comments from them on your blog. I recommend making comments about people's moms - that really breaks the ice.
  3. Employees know that their CEO is not just drinking cocktails in the business lounge when they're stuck in an airport.
  4. It allows you to post content about your company that doesn't make a lot of sense but contains many links and keywords that will drive traffic to your site.
  5. It makes the CEO look a lot smarter then they actually may be as they can post the odd insightful comment (depending on how long the airport delay is).
  6. It gives marketers something (else) to do and can make them look really good.
  7. It's cheaper then Google AdWords. I think we all have given enough to Google!
  8. It's fun and different! It heightens the online experience for boring company websites. Instead of seeing these same top level web nav. buttons for B2B sites: about us, products, case studies, customers, resource, and contact us pages, you can put a real voice behind your company. Mix in podcasts and video blogs and you've got yourself a multi-media party! You can show everyone that you are different from your competition and that being stuck in an airport can be the greatest thing ever!
  9. Show me the $$$$!! Lets face it, it all comes down to the bling bling, ching ching. Blogs lead to further awareness about your company, which leads to people hitting your site, opting in to either email or RSS updates and eventually becoming your customer. You need to get into a conversation with them and blogging can help you get things started as it provides an interactive medium.
  10. I almost forgot this one. Besides the CEO, blogs give the Joe Schmo in your organization a voice as well. Jimmy in Development and Tammy in Support can be given the chance to either blog on the corporate blog, get their own corporate blog (Microsoft does this), or leave comments on other people's blogs. Are you sick of only reading articles about what a VP has to say? I know I am. Blogs let the rest of us "take back the night". Hey, if you don't let the little people blog on the corpoarte site, we're going to find a way to do it ourselves. With a corporate blog, you can moderate it and put some policies around it. It also allows companies to keep their ears to the ground so that they can listen to what their employees have to say as well as their customers (the actual users and not just the people that sign the cheques).

Until next time,

Chad H.


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Monday, April 10, 2006

How to lose traffic on your blog in 10 days

After reading a good article on how to attract people to your blog, I thought I would do the opposite as this seems to be working for me!

Here are my top 10 ways to lose traffic on your blog in 10 days:

  1. Don't add any new content. Let your blog just "chill".
  2. When you do write on your blog, write in a new language that not many people understand. For example: Kred fud kot. (that's have a nice day).
  3. When someone actually adds a comment you should respond by insulting them as well as their entire family
  4. Don't use tags - they are overrated. If someone wants to find your crappy blog, they will
  5. Include any words such as bomb, 911, assassination, Al-Qaeda, George Bush all in the same sentence in the same blog post. If you do, better start running.
  6. Remove yourself from any blog tracking sites such as technorati etc... Write them a nasty letter about how you will hunt them all down if they keep referring people to your blog.
  7. Don't add any comments on any other blogs, ever!
  8. Your only blog should be about how useless Google is and how it's the worst company on the face of the earth. You should add in your post that its only purpose is to make money. In your new secret language (see #2), use the word "Google" to refer to the phrase "worst company ever". This should definitely destroy your blog rankings.
  9. For any people who continue to subscribe to your blog, post messages like a countdown to a time bomb. For example:

    Message #1: This blog will self distruct in 10
    Message #2: 9
    Message #2: 8

    and so on...
  10. Create a splog ( an evil blog) with really good content tags for SEO rankings about your favourite American Idol hopefuls but actually include crazy content (for example, write about the threat of ice cream on global wrming) and create about 5000 blogs with the same syndicated content. When visitors get to your blog, they will be extremely pissed off and probably have you shut down.

    C.

    PS: Here's a great site on SEO marketing




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